A collection of poetry

How can I

let go

when I’ve yet

to hold you.


A year I’ve


in patient lust.




Fat or thin. I’m not picky.

Intelligent, funny, rude,

I embrace them all.

Some wear bright colours, liven up the room.

But the plain ones are just as exciting

to me.


I lay in bed; sometimes


get to hold one of the many

in this world.

And once they satisfy me, we


asleep together.

Morning. Always still next

to me.


But I can never settle

with just one.

Greedy, I love several

at once.

I cheat. Can’t

help myself.

There’s just too much excitement

meeting; sharing that

first glimpse. New



Usually they don’t tell me who they’ve

been with.

In the past.

I don’t mind.


I lean in. Gentle touch. They

sit there, smile back.

I turn another page.




Hand-stamped symbol of the cult.

It'll take days to scrub,

despite the sweat.

Tinnitus rings with


Another frequency gone.

My tongue feels

as dry as this bed.

And my spine.

I left it

twitching on the dancefloor.




You talk.

I nod,

smile, try.

Don’t listen.


If I could escape.


My pain

would be over.

But I sit.

Nodding, pretending.



Unable to feel.

Fingers down my throat.




I am scared to


I still need you.

because what if,

it’s been too long,

what if

you don’t


like you used to.

                      - Creativity.